I haven't posted on this blog in 3 yrs?! check out iancahill.com,it is going pretty good.
Also thellamasblog.blogspot.com is cool too.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
IANCAHILL.COM Going Strong
It has been almost 6 months and my web page is still working. I think it looks cool. go there and comment and I will even email you or something...
Monday, May 23, 2005
Sunday, May 08, 2005
The World is Brighter at 2 a.m.
Well it is awful late, but I am sitting here in the dark about to go to bed and I just have this over-whelming feeling. I don't know why I got so upset about the whole Heather situation. Well what little a situation it is. It turns out that while I am still very much attracted to her (how could I not be?), sometimes you just have to wait and see.
I realized that whether I like it or not, I do have people in my life that I depend on and that depend on me. Some of these people are women, women that I can not be intimate with, but they are comforting none the less. Take Gin. I went over to her house today to help her paint some walls. I was only there a few hours and we really didn't even talk much, but I still like being around her. I know she could never be with me again, the way we were once, but still I feel good when I see her and it helps me to cherish the times I did spend with her.
Beth came over with her fiance James tonight. While it just now occurred to me that I probably was a third wheel in my own house, I still get a feeling of comfort when I am around her. I know that she wants the best for me, Gin does too. And while I manage to spend very little time with either of them, when I do I don't nor will I ever regret it. Oh and Iron Chef French won the Eggplant battle just as I expected. Ha.
So this feeling of comfort with platonic relationships segues nicely into yet another failed attempt to attract a girl, only to have her become a friend, somewhat reluctantly. I think I have been avoiding Abbey, I know I have. I guess she must have sensed it because she is supposed to be in KC this weekend and I haven't heard a word from her. Maybe it is for the best. I hope that she recognizes that if she wants to spend time with me, she has to give me her full attention and I don't think she is ready to do that yet.
I guess all I am really trying to say is that if a new relationship fails to take fruition, then that is no reason to throw off your gloves and stomp off in a huff. There are various personalities in your life that, while they are not exactly what you think you need at the time, they will never leave you and always be there when you least expect them to be.
Another post souly about girls. Sigh. And here I thought I was coming into a new fresh thought pattern, but I guess it is all going to follow that track until I actually find what I am looking for. I will just add a few more things to stray this post a bit.
Adam is still working diligently on my new blog, I am liking what I see. It will certainly be interesting to see what it is like to acclimate myself to posting in a new format.
I decided that while no one in my family called me on my birthday, it is not fair to be mad at my mother. She has been having a very rough time with her health and I don't spend nearly enough time with her as it is. I fear that, that time may be running shorter and shorter. I do love my mom, she has a good heart and I hope and pray that she will just get better, she deserves it.
I realized that whether I like it or not, I do have people in my life that I depend on and that depend on me. Some of these people are women, women that I can not be intimate with, but they are comforting none the less. Take Gin. I went over to her house today to help her paint some walls. I was only there a few hours and we really didn't even talk much, but I still like being around her. I know she could never be with me again, the way we were once, but still I feel good when I see her and it helps me to cherish the times I did spend with her.
Beth came over with her fiance James tonight. While it just now occurred to me that I probably was a third wheel in my own house, I still get a feeling of comfort when I am around her. I know that she wants the best for me, Gin does too. And while I manage to spend very little time with either of them, when I do I don't nor will I ever regret it. Oh and Iron Chef French won the Eggplant battle just as I expected. Ha.
So this feeling of comfort with platonic relationships segues nicely into yet another failed attempt to attract a girl, only to have her become a friend, somewhat reluctantly. I think I have been avoiding Abbey, I know I have. I guess she must have sensed it because she is supposed to be in KC this weekend and I haven't heard a word from her. Maybe it is for the best. I hope that she recognizes that if she wants to spend time with me, she has to give me her full attention and I don't think she is ready to do that yet.
I guess all I am really trying to say is that if a new relationship fails to take fruition, then that is no reason to throw off your gloves and stomp off in a huff. There are various personalities in your life that, while they are not exactly what you think you need at the time, they will never leave you and always be there when you least expect them to be.
Another post souly about girls. Sigh. And here I thought I was coming into a new fresh thought pattern, but I guess it is all going to follow that track until I actually find what I am looking for. I will just add a few more things to stray this post a bit.
Adam is still working diligently on my new blog, I am liking what I see. It will certainly be interesting to see what it is like to acclimate myself to posting in a new format.
I decided that while no one in my family called me on my birthday, it is not fair to be mad at my mother. She has been having a very rough time with her health and I don't spend nearly enough time with her as it is. I fear that, that time may be running shorter and shorter. I do love my mom, she has a good heart and I hope and pray that she will just get better, she deserves it.
Monday, May 02, 2005
Rejection
It's a funny feeling that I will never get used to. I am a victim of the simple things.
Love is the ultimate confidence booster. Being shy, nervous or timid don't sell hip-hop records. I want to sell them. What a weird image. Ok, let's do this. $10 to the first person who can find the fastest way to make me truely happy. Because I am not really that happy, and this I fear is what has doomed my futile attempt to get a very hot girl to like me. She said I didn't seem like her type because I didn't talk much. I hate to pass the blame, but I was pressured and cornered to perform and I flippin caved like the Buffalo Bills in a Superbowl.
On a brighter note, I have music and that is all I need. I am going to coast through life until I get to leave this all behind at least for one weekend and hit the cool artic chill that is TO in May. This is what I am ready for, well that and you know what.
Love is the ultimate confidence booster. Being shy, nervous or timid don't sell hip-hop records. I want to sell them. What a weird image. Ok, let's do this. $10 to the first person who can find the fastest way to make me truely happy. Because I am not really that happy, and this I fear is what has doomed my futile attempt to get a very hot girl to like me. She said I didn't seem like her type because I didn't talk much. I hate to pass the blame, but I was pressured and cornered to perform and I flippin caved like the Buffalo Bills in a Superbowl.
On a brighter note, I have music and that is all I need. I am going to coast through life until I get to leave this all behind at least for one weekend and hit the cool artic chill that is TO in May. This is what I am ready for, well that and you know what.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Our Bodies are made out of wood.
From DictIANary.com
Ideal - adj. This is something I often think I want. I rarely get it, or I glimpse it and never get it back.
Fantasy -n. A movie. Where I often expect my life to be.
"Eggs in a Basket" - They are probably just eggs, just don't put all you have in the same basket, because when or if you drop
them, you will be screwed.
Odometer - n. Quite possibly the one instrument keeping me from potentially finding a girlfriend.
Green - n. What keeps me where I am.
Negative - adj. The way I always seem to come across as, even if it isn't true. Not to be confused with depression. See Insecure.
Insecure - adj. Usually causes Fantasy and Negativity. State of mind that even 25 yrs into it can not be shaked.
Pressure - v? My greatest enemy. Causes irrational thought and the "wuss-out" effect.
Down - adj. What everyone thinks I am without bothering to ask me.
So the weekend didn't quite go my way and while other's assure me not to worry, I think that comfort begets comfort and I had a thorn in my ass. And I chain on my neck....
??????
Ideal - adj. This is something I often think I want. I rarely get it, or I glimpse it and never get it back.
Fantasy -n. A movie. Where I often expect my life to be.
"Eggs in a Basket" - They are probably just eggs, just don't put all you have in the same basket, because when or if you drop
them, you will be screwed.
Odometer - n. Quite possibly the one instrument keeping me from potentially finding a girlfriend.
Green - n. What keeps me where I am.
Negative - adj. The way I always seem to come across as, even if it isn't true. Not to be confused with depression. See Insecure.
Insecure - adj. Usually causes Fantasy and Negativity. State of mind that even 25 yrs into it can not be shaked.
Pressure - v? My greatest enemy. Causes irrational thought and the "wuss-out" effect.
Down - adj. What everyone thinks I am without bothering to ask me.
So the weekend didn't quite go my way and while other's assure me not to worry, I think that comfort begets comfort and I had a thorn in my ass. And I chain on my neck....
??????
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
And he wins on the river
Today, what can I say was a crappy day. Nothing really bad happened, maybe waking up with a migraine set a terrible tone. Work was boring, for we haven't has a whole lot to do lately, yet somehow I still manage to work harder than anyone. Please start pulling your weight guy I work with who shall remain nameless....
I opted out of going to Beth's for a nap instead, but it was one of those naps where you are so tired for no reason at all you fall asleep in your jacket and shoes. So I was constantly rolling in and out of sleep wondering why my feet and arms were so heavy.
I called Heather tonight, and like Ryan would say...I left a message. Heather is this girl that works with Candice and is basically the first girl that anyone of my friends has ever tried to hook me up with. Can you believe that? After all my years in college no one has considered setting me up. Well Beth half-assed an attempt once and it turned out awful. So Adam is my hero for trying to see this one through, although there might be some undue pressure as a result. Am I this desperate? Heck, probably...but she sounds like a pretty good person, so I might have stumbled upon a real winner, we shall see.
I opted out of going to Beth's for a nap instead, but it was one of those naps where you are so tired for no reason at all you fall asleep in your jacket and shoes. So I was constantly rolling in and out of sleep wondering why my feet and arms were so heavy.
I called Heather tonight, and like Ryan would say...I left a message. Heather is this girl that works with Candice and is basically the first girl that anyone of my friends has ever tried to hook me up with. Can you believe that? After all my years in college no one has considered setting me up. Well Beth half-assed an attempt once and it turned out awful. So Adam is my hero for trying to see this one through, although there might be some undue pressure as a result. Am I this desperate? Heck, probably...but she sounds like a pretty good person, so I might have stumbled upon a real winner, we shall see.
Monday, April 25, 2005
By the time the buzz was wearin' off...
Well Adam is dilligently working on my new weblog for viewing at IanCahill.com. It is kinda exciting to have a professionally designed blog. I can't thank him enough for all the hard work he is doing and for the simple reason that he is my friend. What a great guy. Ok enough of the homosexual banter.
Today is officially Ben Folds day for his new album showed up in my mailbox today. A day early! More in a minute....
Today is officially Ben Folds day for his new album showed up in my mailbox today. A day early! More in a minute....
Saturday, April 23, 2005
When the telephone rings once....did I even hear it?
"The trouble with girls is, if they like a boy, no matter how big a bastard he is, they'll say he has an inferiority complex, and if they don't like him, no matter how nice a guy he is, or how big an inferiority complex he has, they'll say he's conceited. Even smart girls do it." --J.D. Salinger
The second best part of this quote is that I used html to make that word italics.....and girls are nothing but trouble.
I watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind tonight. That movie is so gut-wrenching. I love the feelings it makes me feel, even if they are about people that aren't around anymore. (Not Abbey). I don't want to think about her anymore...I wonder if I could erase her......no that is just mean, she hasn't really done anything horrible to me, it is what she is doing to herself that bugs me. Agh. enough.
The second best part of this quote is that I used html to make that word italics.....and girls are nothing but trouble.
I watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind tonight. That movie is so gut-wrenching. I love the feelings it makes me feel, even if they are about people that aren't around anymore. (Not Abbey). I don't want to think about her anymore...I wonder if I could erase her......no that is just mean, she hasn't really done anything horrible to me, it is what she is doing to herself that bugs me. Agh. enough.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Playing Black Frisbee at night. Racist? You decide...
So. How is everything? Not bad...you? Well...No tell me. It's just I think I am trying too hard. Ah...I don't understand?
This was a conversation that I had with myself earlier today. I doubt it makes any sense to anyone else, but I was thinking about my job. I work harder than anyone there, always picking up the slack, and what do I get in return for it? Well in addition to getting more work to do, I get ragged on for the little things that I do wrong. Now I ask you this. If I am doing all your work and mine as well and make one small little mistake, do I really need to get yelled at by the effers that didn't get off their lazy asses to do it in the first place?
The correct answer is no. At any rate, I played mini-golf valiantly to a last place finish ( though still 2 under par), Played DDR to get the heart rate up, and played a bit of frisbee until it got too dark to see.
Abbey, oh man does she piss me off. And I know that she doesn't EVEN realize it. She has been telling me over and over that she wanted to come up and "spend a weekend with me." This was in January. Now she left a message last night saying that she is going to be in KC for something else and could probably spare a few hours to chill with me. That makes me want to puke. If I really and that expendable, why frickin bother? I am really at the point where I just don't want to see her. I need to find a lovely soft spoken girl that wants to make time for me, that likes my company and might even actually go out of their way to be with me. Where are you?
I moved my tax situation around a bit to hopefully give me some more TO money. I hope it works. I really need to start making connections with girls there so we can have someone to meet up with when we get there.
Good night. Also Lori really needs to email me back, I feel stupid to keep writing her, but I think I will anyways.
This was a conversation that I had with myself earlier today. I doubt it makes any sense to anyone else, but I was thinking about my job. I work harder than anyone there, always picking up the slack, and what do I get in return for it? Well in addition to getting more work to do, I get ragged on for the little things that I do wrong. Now I ask you this. If I am doing all your work and mine as well and make one small little mistake, do I really need to get yelled at by the effers that didn't get off their lazy asses to do it in the first place?
The correct answer is no. At any rate, I played mini-golf valiantly to a last place finish ( though still 2 under par), Played DDR to get the heart rate up, and played a bit of frisbee until it got too dark to see.
Abbey, oh man does she piss me off. And I know that she doesn't EVEN realize it. She has been telling me over and over that she wanted to come up and "spend a weekend with me." This was in January. Now she left a message last night saying that she is going to be in KC for something else and could probably spare a few hours to chill with me. That makes me want to puke. If I really and that expendable, why frickin bother? I am really at the point where I just don't want to see her. I need to find a lovely soft spoken girl that wants to make time for me, that likes my company and might even actually go out of their way to be with me. Where are you?
I moved my tax situation around a bit to hopefully give me some more TO money. I hope it works. I really need to start making connections with girls there so we can have someone to meet up with when we get there.
Good night. Also Lori really needs to email me back, I feel stupid to keep writing her, but I think I will anyways.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Stick my song down your Troat.
New Feature! The title of the post is a link. Enjoy.
So, I am trying to determine where I will move in Sept. I still have yet to determine whether or not I can afford to move ( I can't) so I need to find a job that pays well, is exiciting and will provide me with years of experience while not asking for any up front. Sound good? Right. Anyone know of a good place to find a job or a hot blind girl I could crash with?
So I was sitting here tonight and thinking. Here is what I came up with in no discernable order or reason:
1) After today when I see the Pope, it won't be the Pope, it will be this new guy. I have lived on earth with one Pope my whole life and now some germophob is coming in and taking over? I guess it doesn't effect me, but still.
2) I found that I now have a weekly TV schedule. This is sad, but on Mon. I watch the Real World/Road Rules Challenge at 9p/c, Tues. are Scrubs at 8p/c, and then on Thur. I watch Project Greenlight at 9p/c. I wish I had a life so I could say "dang, I missed my stories!"
3) I read 4 comic books today. I know I know, but they were old school.
4) It is mother lovin hot in my apt.
5) I eat pudding, there I said it.
6) I am considering selling my body for $300 any takers?
7) I think when someone says they "want to find a partner that shares their intelligents", they are in for a long haul.
8) I got a star on hotornot.com. hmmm...
So I guess I am done ranting, guess not...I don't really want to go to a certain engagement party, though I really want to support the happy couple, I just don't feel like getting dressed up and feeling uncomfortable so a room full of people can not focus on me. Not that I want them to. Do I have to bring a gift? probably...I sound so cheap. EFF!
So, I am trying to determine where I will move in Sept. I still have yet to determine whether or not I can afford to move ( I can't) so I need to find a job that pays well, is exiciting and will provide me with years of experience while not asking for any up front. Sound good? Right. Anyone know of a good place to find a job or a hot blind girl I could crash with?
So I was sitting here tonight and thinking. Here is what I came up with in no discernable order or reason:
1) After today when I see the Pope, it won't be the Pope, it will be this new guy. I have lived on earth with one Pope my whole life and now some germophob is coming in and taking over? I guess it doesn't effect me, but still.
2) I found that I now have a weekly TV schedule. This is sad, but on Mon. I watch the Real World/Road Rules Challenge at 9p/c, Tues. are Scrubs at 8p/c, and then on Thur. I watch Project Greenlight at 9p/c. I wish I had a life so I could say "dang, I missed my stories!"
3) I read 4 comic books today. I know I know, but they were old school.
4) It is mother lovin hot in my apt.
5) I eat pudding, there I said it.
6) I am considering selling my body for $300 any takers?
7) I think when someone says they "want to find a partner that shares their intelligents", they are in for a long haul.
8) I got a star on hotornot.com. hmmm...
So I guess I am done ranting, guess not...I don't really want to go to a certain engagement party, though I really want to support the happy couple, I just don't feel like getting dressed up and feeling uncomfortable so a room full of people can not focus on me. Not that I want them to. Do I have to bring a gift? probably...I sound so cheap. EFF!
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Never Look the horse inside its grill
I think I need a hobby. List of possible hobbies:
1. Rock Climbing
2. Film Making
(The previous two haven't seemed to come to fruition)
3. hmmm, I need to think of something to spend my free time and weekends doing, that is halfway constructive...
1. Rock Climbing
2. Film Making
(The previous two haven't seemed to come to fruition)
3. hmmm, I need to think of something to spend my free time and weekends doing, that is halfway constructive...
Friday, April 15, 2005
When life survives to 25...
Well my birthday has come and gone, just as I suspected it would. It was fine, I am not going to go off and say it was depressing or anything, I did what I wanted to do.
So right now my whole life is geared towards my trip to
I can’t lie; I played mini golf at lunch for the second day in a row. I played much better today though I still came in third. Shoot I need to practice.
Monday, April 11, 2005
I went to Royals opening day 2005. They lost (8-2 for anyone who follows that sort of thing), I am not sad. It was more like, Ian look at all these attractive women that you will never get day 2005. I made zero effort to talk to anyone, including Marty who incidentally sat roughly 10 rows ahead of me because we bought 2 scapled single tickets just to get in the door. I felt good having avoided Gin most of the day save an email and a brief phone conversation. The weather also turned out to be pretty good. I would have to say that the most interesting part of the day was the star-spangled banner. It included some pyro, a real bald eagle flying around in the field (they are much bigger than I remembered), A stealth bomber that was amazingly timed to fly right above me the second I took my attention off the eagle as it landed, and it featured probably the most underrated "multi-platnium recording artists" in the world. THE FREAKIN' OAK RIDGE BOYS!!! haha.
After sitting at the game with a lot of free time to look around at women, I decided that I want to date a girl who is in a hurry. All the hot chicks that passed my seat on the stairs were all running somewhere, and the breasts are very attractive when they are active. So ladies as long as you are running towards me, not away as marty pointed out, and preferably up stairs it seems; then call me. I also gave Matt Stairs of the KC Royals the nickname, "The Case." Stairs is on the case!!!
After sitting at the game with a lot of free time to look around at women, I decided that I want to date a girl who is in a hurry. All the hot chicks that passed my seat on the stairs were all running somewhere, and the breasts are very attractive when they are active. So ladies as long as you are running towards me, not away as marty pointed out, and preferably up stairs it seems; then call me. I also gave Matt Stairs of the KC Royals the nickname, "The Case." Stairs is on the case!!!
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