Oh dang. What is beauty? ha. I know it when I see it and it isn't always external. I think Abbey is what I want, but knowing that she doesn't want me, well that just hurts in a way. A very obvious way. I think every problem I ever had or created for myself stems from two things, I will outline them here.

1) Confidence. that is obvious, yet hard to acheive.
2) Motivation. this is tough to master, I find that it comes in spurts.

I will now refer to this as Confivation. I should find a book about it.....

Maybe I will call my web page, searching for confivation. or Motifidence. whatever..