hi

I called Abbey today too, only to get a recorded message. I would love to see her soon

I have been off line for quite some time, but xmas break is here and I am back for now. I called GIn today, but she was far too busy to talk. I have finals this week and am striking out with girls left and right. And I saw matt's penis. Oh my! A new low for the rat's nest

Well it has been awhile. After enduring the start of my senior year of college and the recent Terrorist attacks on america, I have come bearing news. Stuff has happened this past week that I suppose merits talks. I have avoided publishcation in light of hte attacks partly b/c i wasn't sure what to say and partly b/c I knew noone would be listening. Recently I bought my father hockey tickets to see the blues/red wongs in really good seats. I am excited about that. Also I saw Ben Folds perform in late sept. and am about to get the new Ben folds Five DVD. I also got hte godfather trilogy on DVD and have attended class on a semiregular basis. I am still at Osco and don't see much of a point in lookin for another job. I am in a stall right now I don't care about anything but gettin by. Sorry to anyone whose email I haven't gotten back to. In more current news yesterday a Tornado touched down about 200 yards from my house. I was in the house at the time but had no inclination that anything was wrong. I could have literally looked out my back door and seen trees tearing down and stuff, but i was watching SNL instead. Oh well. Life can pass you by without warning. That is it for now later.

Well last night was Wesley Willis night in Springfield, MO. I must say it was rather interesting. I can also honestly say that I probably won't be seeing him "perform" and I use that term loosely, again. Let's just say that between him taking off his shirt and the twenty plus minutes of "suck a ( )'s dick and Lick a ( )'s booty hole/ass" song's I was ready to go. I am glad for the experience because Mr. Willis has inspired such things as the name of our house, The Rat's Nest, and the name of Matt's band, Rock Over London. So for that I tip my hat at Wesley, and the fact that they actually let him play venues. On a lighter note, I suppose I am a mad chick magnet at Osco these days. All the girls have crushes on me I'm told. One in particular strikes me as funny b/c I haven't said more than two words to her ever. I guess that goes to show you that the more I actually talk to a girl the more they realize I would make a better FRIEND. piss on that. I haven't talked to Abbey since her dis on Sunday and I am sorta lookin forward to callin her tonight, although I know it will be in the back of my head that she isn't interested. Money sux and it looks as though I am locked into the ROL show in a few weeks. touring the country baby!!! Message board comments.

well I think that Abbey is out of the picture romantically. She never did quite show as much interest as I would have hoped, but that is my life. She blew me off today. I had a feeling she would, but I suppose it is better this way. I guess I am not ready for a girlfriend right now. School starts tommorow and this will prove interesting. I will once again become a shy and timid student like I was before. now that all my housemates are home I really have noone that reads this and I am sure I will slink into a life that noone notices. Does that sound suicidal? well it's not. I am just sad about a lot of things. girls, money, future...man what am I going to do????

The computer situation is crappy right now. I don't have one. Ryan McCoy swept thru Springfield this week to stay and has been rearranging the house to suit his needs. Consequently he has rerouted the internet so it reaches his room and Jake's room. This presents a problem for me who is used to using Matt's computer. It is still in the dining room and there is no more hook up there. So now I am forced to use Ryan's MAC until matt gets back into town. I really wish I could afford a computer, but in the overall scheme ofthings I would rather have a new car, a desk, and a rug. I can live without this faceless entity to type to day in and day out.

I really don't have anything to say, but I didn't want to go to sleep just yet. I didn't do anyhting after work tonite. I watchedthe Trading Spaces marathon on TLC. I still love my little ITC ripoff, but noone else has said anything, oh well. It is the little things that amuse me. I am poor. I know I probably say that alot but there are certain things that I would like to get to make my life seem better. For instance, hup caps, a rug for my room, a desk for my room, wall tubing for my surround sound speakers, my power steering on my car fixed. I could probably think of a millions things. How pathetic is that ??? Oh well, I am not unhappy, but every little bit helps. I guess that is really all I have to say right now, so on that note I will say good night. bye the way I am typing this using all the proper fingers that I learned in typing class, it is harder than I remember. hehe, I will talk to you all later

you know how certain people, strangers, can just stand uncomfortably close when they try to talk to you? I know you all know what I am talkin about, it has happened to everyone. Well I saw it happen today right in front of me in line at the bank. You notice things easier when you are a third person. Also today when I went in to get my paycheck there was a girl working who wasn't 21 and couldn't ring up alcohol. She has two kids and still can't legally drink, but that is besides the point. I told her I would ring up this huge liquor purchase that was like $124. She called me selfless! I don't know if I would define selling an extraordinary amount of wild turkey and milwaukee's best to an old couple as selfless, but oh well, it made me laugh.....

I know I have put off writing this but I wasn't sure what to say. This past weekend I went to OKC to visit my roommate Ryan. He turned 21 and wanted me to come down and see the sights. So I did, being the good roommate that I am. We went to Bricktown, visited a bar, wherein we found people twice our age so we drank one beer and left. We went to the bombing memorial, which was quite touching and got me thinking back to 1995 when it all happened. We also got some shots for the long awaited Ian Propaganda film "For your Eyes only" this was filmed at the wonderful Myriad Gardens in downtown OKC. I also got a flat tire on the way home while I was in Tulsa, go figure..Other than that the rest of the week has been spent working and trying to talk to abbey. I did manage to get a hold of her twice this week and she had visitors both times so we didn't get to talk too terribly long, which incidentally was probably a good thing seeing as how I am getting the feeling that i am repeating myself whne i talk to her simply b/c nothing is going on in my life! I did however express the desire to see her more and she humbly replied " you can drop by anytime you want...just call first" I suppose for now that will suffice. I don't want her to think I am a shlock or anything, which she most definately will if she ever gets around to reading this blog. those who read must message board comments access to the right....

The long awaited Dinner With Abbey story. Well it goes something like this. That girl has got to know that I have a thing for her. I had wine, I had a candle, I made a wonderful italian chicken and pasta dish that was phenomenal, even by my standards. I served salad and bread sticks to boot. I thought we had great dinner conversation becasue she even commented that it was taking her longer to eat than normal because we were talking. After dinner, I invited her to stay and watch "When Harry Met Sally" a rousing tale about how to make two lovers of friends. I thought at this point I was a shoe in. Although I had to persuade her to stay she did. I sat fairly close to her although we were on the larger couch ( an obvious error in hindsight) I touched her neck at one point and her arm once or twice. I know it may sound lame that I know all the times I made casual contact with her, but that kind of touching is important in a relationship. I thought for sure a few times after the movie that I was going to tell her how I felt, but it ended up that she was showing me yoga moves and I didn't find an in. So basically I wussed out on telling her my feelings. After the movie she stayed for somewhere between a half hour to an hour talking to me about stuff and then she finally had to go. She said she had to go once before but stayed for quite a bit after that. If she knew that I was digging her she didn't let on. I finally managed to mustard up the following : "We do need to do things like this more often" and to this she replied, "You can make me dinner anytime you want." I walked her to the door feeling a void in my chest for having not said anything more and then SHE hugged me goodbye. Sure I held on a little longer than neccesary, but I have it bad for this girl. That was that I excahnged a few more bits of conversation as she walked to her car and told her that I would call her when I got back into town from OKC. she agreed and I went inside. I was physically and verbally upset for having not revealed my true feeling to her. one would think she would have figured it out by now after the pottery thing and a home cooked meal. I suspect she isn't into me romantically and doesn't have the heart to tell me. I attributed my unwillingness to share my feelings with her to the fact that my father worked the graveyard shift when i was a kid. I even considered calling her that night and telling her that. She my dad really wasn't a big part of my life until High school when my parents got divorced and I fear all the time I spent with my mom made me fearful and sensitive. I just didn't have the guts to come right out and tell her how i felt because I didn't have a strong father figure. go figure....message board your comments.

Lately it seems my life has been saturated with love. Love, something which it seems I know nothing of. My mother is getting remarried. My roommates, two of count seem to have found a love of sorts in there own ways. I have a date with destiny tommorow night and fear for its outcome. My heart wants one thing and my hands, the giver of my pleasure and thoughts that are my writings, hurt. It means that i have feelings so strong that I know not what to do. Maybe it is possible to be happy even among the greatest adversity. I just finished watching Shakesphere in Love and there was certainly a forbidden love there. Jake knows all about it. And who the hell am I to say what is the way it should be. I am just an unexperienced letch. I went to Osco today to purchase the wine for my dinner plans tommorow and a few of the women at work laughed at me, I suppose I looked too young to be making such a grown-up purchase. I suppose maybe I am, in my own way. My brother too knows of love it seems. He is living with his muse. I linked his site to my Blog so he can finally get alittle more attention. I am urging him to update it more frequently. Go check out his web page and offer him suggestions. That is all I have for now.

hi

It has come to my attention that when I do my blog it is filling with sorry self-absorbed thoughts. To some, or perhpas just one, it comes across as trite and boring. I mean who cares what I think anyways? hehe. At any rate I will do my best to write more about what happens around that all the lovely people out there miss out on. One thing would be the unsaid tension that exists between me and my roommate right now, while he may not know it is there, it is. He will probably read this at some point, but oh well. Today at Osco I worked with Alicia. She is a nice girl, pretty too. I was never totally convinced I could ever be in a relationship with her. I mean I am attracted to her, but I just knew deep down that it would never work. I just may be right. Shaun, another employee of mine told me a riviting story about how Alicia came over to his house and started "sending signals" if you will, whatever that means. Regardless she then proceeded to tell me that she didn't like him that way and was afraid he liked her. She is a tease. I knew it. She's cool though, I just know to stay away from her :) I worked in the liquor department at work today for 3 hrs b/c I guess we were short? It was very very quiet up there and I basically had nothing to do. I read the tabloids and did a word search, but htat isn't the story. The story is about an older gentleman who came in asking for a 1/2 pint of vodka. At first I just thought that he was more privy to the bottle than you or I, as most older folks are, but upon firther investigation I realized that this man was probably homeless, not to mention a loon. I felt bad for him as he rambled on about how cops hate war vets and how they would pour his liqour out if he was spotted by them. I felt bad, but the kicker is I didn't have the heart to tell him that I shouldn't sell the vodka to him. I sold him two small bottles of hard liqour and he left to drink himself into a stuper. I felt horrible. I felt like somehow I was contributing to the worst things in america, alcoholism and homelessness. It kinda put my whole life and how I have been living it into perspective. Maybe I am not being the best person I can be. Maybe I am thinking with my penis even more than Jake. Maybe I sin just a bit more than I should. It just makes me sad that an old insane gunmen in lord knows what war was the only thing to make me realize this. It is truely a twisted world......message board your thoughts.

Well today i came to the realization that nothing is going the way I planned. I am still a child in various ways. I need to get new car insurance seeing as how I don't currently have any. I am afraid to take the plunge in my personal life as well as porfessional. I need to get to the point where I am willing to sacrifice things that I hold dear to improve my standard of living. I would like to have more money coming in so I can release some of the stress I have associated with money. I need a better job. I need to tell Abbey I think the world of her, and whether she believes me or not I want to BE with her. I am such a wuss. I literally have nothing to lose with her, if I creep her out and she never wants to talk to me again, well that is about the way it is now, she never calls me anyways. This can be attributed to the 50's idea that the man should call or it could be that she is just not interested in me that way. I wish she was aggressive and could tell me one way or another. :( Where am I going?????

I am going to try to get Rock Over London to play with Wesley Willis in Springfield, MO

I am home alone. I figure I have this fancy new BLog and a brain to match so I might as well wirte on it. I do fear that i may be spending too much time on the computer, but I never really do anything on here, surf the same 5 web pages and then look at my own. Lame lame lame. At any rate I am still up in arms about my current living situation. I just don't want to be stuck here all the time. I think that if I moved to a larger city there would be more things to do, but the truth is that i would probably still sit at home and watch Tv b/c I have no money. Right now i want to leave and go do something, but I have no grip andI am kinda hoping abbey will call me tonite. If she doens't I will understand. She might come in from KC late and have to sleep so she can work tommorow. I don'twork til 4 tommorow so tonite seems like a good time to see her, if not then I may invite her over Wed and cook for her and see what happens. lately I have been trying to get a hold of Alice 95.5 to see if they will play "Rockin the Suburbs" on their station, but the number i found just keeps ringing and ringing. jerks.

Well today marks the day of my new Blog template. Put together by the wonderful Kristen over at Immabrat.com. It looks great. Now if I can just get more folks to read it....I am working on that though. Today iwork 8hrs and really don't feel like it. I slept from eyes shut to alarm without interuption. So why am I up now? I could have slept the day away and been none the wiser.At any rate Today is Sunday and I will hopefully see abbey. If I do I hope that it works out well. I gave her the link to this Blog, I wonder if she read any of it? And what did she think? By the way, Cozmo got quite the haircut the other day, he looks funny. I pray that it grows back soon.

Well there seems to be something brewing in the Ian Camp. Nothing of noble worth, but I suppose it is worth mentioning. This past week was not exactly the thrill ride I am sure you are imagining. I had three days off in light of the cancelled plans with Evans. This was to be expected in my heart of hearts, but that is cool. Instead I spent a great deal of time sleeping and when possible spending time Candice. I went to see her at work once to past the time and a second time to take Cozmo aka Spawn of Satan to get some shots and a haircut. Both times I discovered a dead cat. So it seems the Grim Reaper is on my side. In what Capacity I don't even want to begin to know. I talked to Abbey after what seemed like an eternity and was more pleasurable than I could imagine. I like her a great deal. She is full of life. Tonight Candice, Jake and I went to see A Knight's Tale tonight. A guilty pleasure I finally took in. It was great entertianment. It had this underlying theme of The Poor kid does good. this provides great hope for a street rat like myself. And with that said I will be off, but will hopefully get the chance to add more to this tale tonight, or if not in the morning. G'day.

I decided this evening that I am living in a fairy tale without the happy ending. Well basically without the climax, the beginning or the happy ending. I am living my life day to day trying not to let things like bills or how well my car runs get to me. I try not to let the fact that Ginny the one girl I thought I could love whole heartedly doesn't want me. Through all this and probably a million other things that seem petty to everyone but me I have endured somehow. I manage a smile on my face, partly becasue I know deep down I know lots of other people have it worse than me. I am just an ordinary guy, and all I want is to be loved, is that so wrong? I read my horoscope, I drink chocolate milk, I hate money but could use more of it. I want to fly away to a distant country at a moments notice, I want to spend a weekend in Vegas. But, it seems, God doesn't have these things in my plan. There is a sinking feeling in my chest when I think about all this. I am utterly alone with this on my mind. It could drive someone nuts. But not me, I take it as it comes. I buy things I can't afford, I consider crying myself to sleep, but then decide that the depression that goes along with it is too much for even me to handle. My mother told me once shortly after my parents decided to separate and she revealed to me that her grandfather had abused her, it was a rather intimate setting just me and her on my bed, she told me never under any circumstance to bottle things in. This perhaps lead me to become a writer, spilling important facts about my life on paper. I try to share my feelings, and sometimes I feel I do it too often. At any rate, I have grown in the person I am today. I am nerotic, selfish at times, giving at other times, I have sincere feelings for dozens of people and I don't see myself changing. I may be insecure, I may even be fleetingly hopeless at times, but I take everyday as it comes and let things lie. I will be the first to admit that I am not perfect, I have problems. It keeps me original, keeps me on my toes. Without struggle what do we have? I have a pit, a void within me that needs to be filled wants to be filled, but alas I don't know the first thing to do to fill it.

I am finally Blogging after several days in Kansas City. My time is limited b/c I haveto work in fifteen minutes. One of those Magazine contest reminiscent of the california girl. He talked my ear off for ten minutes leaving me little time to write all sorts of interesting things. Things about Gin. The short abbreviated version is that she wants to be "just friends" and she tells me this after I come across perhaps a bit stronger than I would have imagined. As a result our special day on the 18th has been reduced to a faint memory. You guessed it, she cancelled on me for fear that she was sending the wrong signals, in my opinion, she was. The Warped tour broke my pocket book so to speak, but it was a good experience in the hot blistering sun. The Vandals and Less Than Jake took the show in my eyes. I loved it. My brother spent this past week in springfield with me and while I suspect he was bored alot, it was nice to see him. I let him drive my car nearly every chance I got. I think he enjoyed that. The St. Louis Blues have been making several key line changes including trading Turek, losing Turgeon, and adding Mike Keane and Doug Weight. I haven't talked to Abbey in about a week and a half. She is currently in STL for a roommates wedding. Which reminds me that Gin and I went to the wedding of the lovely Becky Larson who was present at the downfall of Gin and I's relationship. Ironic isn't it? I guess Gin is on the brain this week, but Laurel came over last night and provided a new perspective on the whole thing plus provided much needed cuddling time as we watched "When Harry met Sally" a fine fine film. Well I do have tons more to say, but Osco beckons and I will leave you with this. I saw on TV the other day that a 7-time Tennis champion designed a new GOLF driver that could hitter balls further and consistantly every time. He is a Tennis pro, does anyone else see a problem here?? Thanx for listening.

Well I asked Abbey if she wanted to come over and watch a movie with me. She said she was gonna be busy doing laundry and doing a lesson plan for tommorow. I hope this isn't a sign that she isn't interested. Of course I could be thinking way too far into this. I now know where I stand with Gin. We are destined to be just friends it looks like. While she is thrilled at the idea of being with a guy "like" me, she is still emotionally scarred by her situation as a single mom. I can understand this. Thus I am going ot be single for awhile longer. Sorry to all two of you that read this for always and only writing about women (who I secretly still consider girls.) On a different subject, Mark at Osco offered me the postion of Automotive Departmetn Head. I turned it down. It reminds me of 1Potato2 when i turned down the assistant mangers job. I must have a responsibility phobia. I just feel uncomfortable having people rely on me when i know I will not always wrok there. besides the pay at Osco sucks anyways and any extra responsibility won't make my pay checks bigger. Am I thinking like a sane human being? Let me know, email me.

I opened a fortune cookie today. It read "A thrilling time is in your immediate future." This is something I look forward to. Yesterday I was with Abbey. It was nice. I am slowly allowing her to see what a wonderful person I can be when i am with her. I took her to one of those paint your own pottery places. She told me that she thought it was fun. I think the fact that I wouldn't tell her where we were going until we got their impressed her. The rest of the evening was spent with her roommate. Althoguh it was quite uneventful after the pottery place, I still loved being close to her. She looked great too. I really hope that she doesn't just want to be my friend, she seems to be turned off by guys, most of the girls i like are like that. I just hope that it isn't a vibe to tell just me that she isn't interested. We shall see. I can make her laugh and we joke around, i just want to be with her, you know? As for Gin. well she has yet to respond to my poerty email. I am still up in the air about where I stand with her too. It is weird to see myself with her again. I am just confused, but I figure either way I have nothing to lose, right??

I have been a Ben Folds Five fan since before underground hit in 1995. I have followed the band ever since. When I heard about Rockin from the Suburbs, I wasn't sure what to expect from Ben. I downloaded the songs from AudioGalaxy tonight and holy crap! It was far easier to get the tracks from the album than to get on this message board. This is far better than I imagined. It is charged like the self-titled ben folds five with some electronica. It is this fantastic hybrid of ben folds five and frickin' techno, I can't pull myself away. I hope everyone goes out and buys this album. Also Abbey came over the other night to help me paint my room burgandy. I really enjoy her compnay and I think she is beginning to see just how wonderful I am.

I hung out with Abbey last nite. It was very low key. We just sat on her couch and watched my movies and then alittle VH1. I think we clicked rather well but there were still some akward silences. I also feel reasonably comfortable with her roommates. She thinks that guys are bastards, but it kinda works out b/c in "Guys like us" I call women vicous and dangerous. I think she realizes that her and I have alot in common. I am hoping she will get to help me paint prob tommorow. who knows how that will work out. I like her fairly well, maybe not as much as b/f but it is still significant. I have to work in 20 min. I should prob go get ready.

"It was around five o'clock when he decided it was time to get up off his lazy ass a make a difference in this world. Where would he start? He could probably get away with the petty amusement of pointing out the shortcomings of others to enlighten them into changing while at the same time giving him a thrill only those with few morals could possibly understand. He wanted to do more though. He had wasted the years previous and was tired of living such a dull existence. Perhaps he could rasie awareness of some cause by holding a fundrasier. That however would required advanced planning of which he had none. What he needed to do was to make a difference tonight, quick and painless. He would call one person and pour his heart out to her. That, maybe, just maybe would do the trick. Probably not."

Well Today I tried to hang the dry erase board at our house. I was on the only chair in the house, a rolling chair, on our hard wood floors and darn near killed myself. I sent Ginny four of my poems that included her as inspiration. After sending them i decided that a few of them came across as negative. And maybe they are, but it doesn't mean i love her any less. I wish I could tell if she had some feelings for me too. I am cursed bby the fact that I can't tell when a girl (woman) is vibing me. Take Abbeyfor example, I probably pushed her away by not making a move. Dating is so hard. I do look forward to Gin and I's surprise evening on July 18th. I really hope it is just me and her. depending on how well things go til then I may tell her how I am feeling. Blah Blah. Jake doesn't make a very good room mate right now. He seems so inconsiderate and sorta selfish. I mean he bought milk and drank it all himself. That makes me mad b/c I bought more today and I know he will drink more than half of it. but I suppose that is what I am here on earth for. To be a giving person. I love to a fault.

I have so much to say, but I am tired and I promise I will write all about it in the morning

Well it is official. My Roommates and I have finally moved into the aptly named Rat's Nest. For the past three days we have begun the exhustive process of "remodeling" if you will. We cleaned like you wouldn't believe. It is funny to think just how much nicer this place looks when you just dust a few things off. Yesterday we started the tricky task of painting the upstairs. I must say the living room looks great adn t he bathroom is getting there. I have tried my hand at spackling and it isn't so bad. As far as my attitude towards the place now, it does need some work, but it is livable. I do have a feeling that the kitchen is going to be a constant source of irritation for me. The timely washing of dishes especially. 1131 aside, I must talk about girls. Abbey is still a weekly phone call and that pisses me off but it is a case of out of sight out of mind. Ginny on the otehr hand has such a great image of me and is so excited to see me when we talk on the phone that i am afraid to let her down. lately my life is anything short of boring and I never have anything to talk about with her. She is definately living a different life than I am. I guess I will see how it goes this weekend before I make any rash decisions concerning our relationship, if we have relationship at all.....

Welcome to my Rant. I have been thinking about alot of things lately and it is sometimes hard to figure stuff out unless I write it down. Normally I write things that noone ever reads, but I figure this is the same thing. For starters I think I have learned to appreciate my days off. And even though the pessimist inside of me says that it is just a day w/o pay (which as a 20 yr old is unsettling), But I am going to do way funner things as my days off are becoming few and far between this summer. I am preparing to move into 1131 in like two weeks and it is already stressful, I can really vocalize any specific reason, but my acne is acting up. Today I got a MANicure and I am pleasantly surprised at the results. It kind of makes me a bit more confident. If my mom still thinks I am gay I am sure this will reinforce her 1950s ideals. I am a striaght man, but I a m shy and am not sure how to make the first move. That is for the record books. Alright maybe I am a bit sensitive, but damn I have alot of time to think about crap like appreicating women. Jake moved in with us and so far it is nice b/c he seems to always want to go out and do things. A pleasant change of pace. Plus he still likes to watch blind date with the guys and that rules. By the way the St. Louis Blues lost their series v. the Avs but at least that means I won't be writing about them for awhile. The abbey situation is as follows. I called her, she told me that she had Mono and Strep. I think that sux, I probably won't seeing her for awhile and that makes me sad. I got a shiny new manicure to show off to her (j/k)

Well today in my life things have settled down I think. I worked eight hours today, but now I am going to do absolutely nothing for the rest of the night. The weekend was pretty cool, A group of us went to Ryan's Lake house. It probably wasn't as fun as last time b/c I didn't sleep with a girl :) but Marty and Joel went and that was cool. The Blues dropped the first game in their series against the Avs, but I am sure they will bounce back. I am moving into 1131 in 2 week! can you imagine, i will be in the rat's nest very soon. One thing about moving into the house is that Ryan, Matt and I will be picking up a new roommate. His name is Jake. I am responsible for bringing him into our circle of friends (if you can call it that) and he is pretty cool. The one thing that bothers me is that Kara has decided to date him. This really bothers me for some reason. I think I am jealous of the fact that Kara was never so affectionate towards me as he is with him. Sometimes, like at the lakehouse this week, I couldn't stand to be in the same room as them b/c of the P.D.A. I guess I am being childish b/c she never was my girlfriend. I don't even think it would be a good idea for me to date her and she annoys me from time to time, but it bothers me just the same. Aside from that I talked to Abbey last night. I am still deciding what she thinks about me. She seems happy to talk to me, but we never hang out and she hasn't called me on her own that i can remember. She mentioned taking a painting class this summer and I may take it with her. I hope I do then I can talk to her more. Thanks for reading if you read at all.

Well today in my life things have settled down I think. I worked eight hours today, but now I am going to do absolutely nothing for the rest of the night. The weekend was pretty cool, A group of us went to Ryan's Lake house. It probably wasn't as fun as last time b/c I didn't sleep with a girl :) but Marty and Joel went and that was cool. The Blues dropped the first game in their series against the Avs, but I am sure they will bounce back. I am moving into 1131 in 2 week! can you imagine, i will be in the rat's nest very soon. One thing about moving into the house is that Ryan, Matt and I will be picking up a new roommate. His name is Jake. I am responsible for bringing him into our circle of friends (if you can call it that) and he is pretty cool. The one thing that bothers me is that Kara has decided to date him. This really bothers me for some reason. I think I am jealous of the fact that Kara was never so affectionate towards me as he is with him. Sometimes, like at the lakehouse this week, I couldn't stand to be in the same room as them b/c of the P.D.A. I guess I am being childish b/c she never was my girlfriend. I don't even think it would be a good idea for me to date her and she annoys me from time to time, but it bothers me just the same. Aside from that I talked to Abbey last night. I am still deciding what she thinks about me. She seems happy to talk to me, but we never hang out and she hasn't called me on her own that i can remember. She mentioned taking a painting class this summer and I may take it with her. I hope I do then I can talk to her more. Thanks for reading if you read at all.

I am sure you are concerned about my well being, but the truth is things came up and i have been busy. to recap the weekend, the BLues swept the Dallas Stars in the Playoffs second round. All my friends generally got drunk this weekend for the Cinco De Mayo celebrations. I was sick. Next weeek is finals weeek and the summer will finally start. Matt Wilson already started his summer. He called me today from Indiana. He was on his way Virginia for the summer to work at Busch Gardens.

So the Blues took a 3-0 lead in the second round of the playoffs. Hopefully they will sweep so I can take some time off from watching the TV all the time. I am sitting in Matt's Room right now with a host of friends being loud and having intersting conversations about an upcoming Cinco De Mayo celebration. I am glad we are still young enough to have fun. I however, do have to wrok in one hor :( Hey we all make sacrifices.

So the Blues took a 3-0 lead in the second round of the playoffs. Hopefully they will sweep so I can take some time off from watching the TV all the time. I am sitting in Matt's Room right now with a host of friends being loud and having intersting conversations about an upcoming Cinco De Mayo celebration. I am glad we are still young enough to have fun. I however, do have to wrok in one hor :( Hey we all make sacrifices.

So the Blues took a 3-0 lead in the second round of the playoffs. Hopefully they will sweep so I can take some time off from watching the TV all the time. I am sitting in Matt's Room right now with a host of friends being loud and having intersting conversations about an upcoming Cinco De Mayo celebration. I am glad we are still young enough to have fun. I however, do have to wrok in one hor :( Hey we all make sacrifices.

Today so far has been really laid back and fun. I added two bios in my roommate section of the web page. I am still high off of the STL win last nite. I am so full of emotion lately, but it is hard to place a direct link to anything. It may spawn from my roommates relationship problems or the fact that I really miss my friends after spending some time on the friend page of my web site. I did laundry today and will Osco It later. I think I may call Evans today.

I updated my web page again today. I added some friends and family. but it isn't completely done yet. The Blues Won again tonite. They Rule!!!! A big shout out to Gin and MAtt E, and greg zink.

I am currently in the process of updating my web page to include a friends and family page. So look for that in the coming week. I also will be glued to the TV screen every nite that the Blues are on. They play tonite right after work. Remind myself to call Evans tonite also.

the blues won tonite! I am pleased and tired.

Today should prove to be a good day. the weather is beautiful, I got my interview from Daniel Ameri, VP of BurlyBear TV today. I got an email from Evans, The game is on tonite and I got a six pack of Ice to spread around. I talked to abbey on the phone last nite and I am happier today than I have been for two weeks :) Everyone clap.

Today I finally got the good graces of my Biography teacher. I got a 9 on my presentation aout Daniel Ameri. It was a hard fought battle and I am glad I won. I am in the computer la at school and this dum keyoard is having troule with the B button it only works if I press real hard like or try to use wrods taht don't have that letter in them. I gotta run.

today i am bored i fear it will carry over to the week. I hope i talk to Abbey this week too, i think the world of her even though we NEVER talk....

It is official. I am a hockey fan. If you didn't know this before, well you know it now. I actually called home from work to see the score of the blues game which happened to be on while I was at Osco. They ended up winning 2-1 and will now move on to the second round for the third time in four years. This is kinda scary, I just want to see them win this round for once. At any rate i will be returning to Osco Drug today to work an 8 hr shift only to turn right around and spend two additional hours there in a store meeting. I need the money, but seriously 10a-9p isn't my idea of a fun time.

I am feeling pretty worthless right now. I made some pretty weak desicions today. For example, I decided to watch Boy Meets World instead of talkin on the phone with a girl who was desperately seeking some attention. Is that so wrong? I just wanted a little time to myself. Is it a bad thing that this time to myself is becoming more and more frequent. I think I am destined to become a hermit or something. Tonight should be a relaxing night, becasue I work all day Sat and Sun. but it has turned into a big decision. Who do I hang out with? The world may never know....

I learned avaluable lesson today. No matter how good you think you are, someone is always better. I decided that if I am not good at something then it isn't worth doing. I really need to motivate myself to work on my film, it is just so hard to edit in Ryan's room. I wish I had a editor all of my own.....what Ed is on the phone? I just won am illion dollars? Surely Not? Wrong Number? Story of my life......

I updated my site today so my movie page is there now. I hope everyone enjoys it, namely me

This dumb thing is givin me trouble, I couldn't sustain geocities any longer so I signed up for tripod to blog and linked it to my geocities homepage.

Right now I am dissapointed with the internet. All I can mange to find to use it for is the rate people on Hot or Not .com fun as that may be, I wish I had more of a rewarding venture for this stupid thing. I mean we pay $40 a month for a fast connection and all I do is look at pictures of girls. worthless.

Oh man I have had trouble with this so I just started over, if it breaks again I will seek porfessional help. I would love to write more, but it will have to wait for later tonight for I have to eat and get on to the grind that is Osco Drug. Later

Is it on now